:D

Thursday, August 28, 2008

FINALLY. exams are over. But the feeling aint so great after all. After RHT paper my heart dropped. Seriously. I think about the number of tests i screwed up. The huge difference i need to score to get that A or perhaps maintain that B+ or B. The GPA 3.5 that i once thought was oh-so-fucking easy to get if i put in effort.

I swear i swear i studied hundred thousand millions and billions way more than O levels or even prelims. I fell sick for the POM paper. I stayed awake overnight to finish studying at mac, starbucks, mac and mac. But no matter how hard i study, it just turn out sucky.

Mind blank for econs. totally flunk the paper. If i can pass then i will be like damn damn extremely happy. Rest were the same. The questions that came out were the exact of what i studied. But apparantly, at that exact moment, nothing gets into my small, tiny, pueenny, almost invisible for a naked human eye brain.

DIE. But so? blame it on my part of being so dumb from the start.

After O levels i have always think that i have broken out of that horrible digusting bunch of losers catergory to the much smarter, above average, or perhaps the "much more cleverer than you think who you are" kinda person. I feel clever, i feel above average, i feel that i am too clever for some people.

Or perhaps it was because i have been use to being the better ranking ones in class.

Something's wrong with my mentality. awfully wrong. I feel that its degrading to have an un-intellectual conversation with people who have a much lower qualifications, low sense of maturity and mental ability, or perhaps no certificate to show that the person was a qualified homogenious being.

Utter disgust with that thinking ng xiaoyun. Proud, selfish, arrogant bitch, woman. Thinking that the whole world revolves around you and that everyone wasn't as clever as you are, miss oh-so-brainy ng xiaoyun.

Fuck those thinking.

Now no matter how hard i work, i am always the bottom few. You know how that feels? BAD. FUCKING BAD. MOTHER FUCKING BAD!!! (i'm getting more and more vulgar due to these increased stress)

I dont want to be the last few in class. I always thought GPA 3.5 will not be a problem for me. And at times secretly mock at people for getting scores below that. EEW with that mentality!

I'm seriously going to break down. I want to score well LUHHH!!!!

& stop bitching about people xiaoyun. Bitching about people being a bitch is such an irony, because it makes you one too.

&& i'm so happy because i finally have time to zhng my other stuffs (that includes my hp headphones, MP4, new headphones and the old headphones. woohoo)

&&& i'm so gna embark on a journey to rescue my pathetic, hideous complexion from that boom of growing population of pimples. Facial, mask, early rest, controlled amount of alcohols everynight, hmmm and controlled clubbing frequencies?? ( i want to quit but its HARD LUH. its like smoking. equally hard). I'll change them back to what they originally were. Pimple free (at least), smooth (to a certain extend).

NONO. They will be going to be as smooth as my buttcheeks. HAHAHAHHA

Written @ 11:53 PM